Salt of the Earth to Planet Boyfriend
Northerner Rachel is sat at her desk in an Interactive TV department leafing through a department store flyer. She presses a programmed number on her phone, and turns on the speaker.
BOYFRIEND:
Ullo?
RACHEL:
'ullo lover, it's me.
BOYFRIEND:
Oh 'ullo.
RACHEL:
Just got up?
BOYFRIEND:
Uh.
RACHEL:
Alright for some! Eh, Army and Navy have got a sale on?
BOYFRIEND:
Eh?
RACHEL:
It's like Allders or Rackhams. They've got beds in t'sale. We should get one.
BOYFRIEND:
What? Like kid's beds?
RACHEL:
No proper grown up sized beds.
BOYFRIEND:
I don't want a bed with a chuffin' sail on it.
RACHEL:
You what?
BOYFRIEND:
I mean is it boat shaped and stuff?
RACHEL:
What ye talking about now?
BOYFRIEND:
You said t'beds got a sail. Is it boat shaped?
RACHEL:
No ye...! Oooh what are you like? I said beds in t'sale! In't shop!
BOYFRIEND:
What shop?
RACHEL:
Army and Navy!
BOYFRIEND:
Is that a shop?
RACHEL:
Yes! Like Rackhams!
BOYFRIEND:
I thought tha said navy bed'd got a sail. I don't want to sleep in a novelty bed.
RACHEL:
Bloo-dee-hell! Go away I'll talk to thi later when tha's woken up!
(Disconnects)
Did you 'ear that? What chuffin' planet is 'e on?